Advice: Abused Women

                                               Charles Pidgeon, Ph.D.

Reprinted with permission from the publisher of Social Consciousness Pedagogy

         The most difficult initial step for abuse-recovery is to believe and not just hear, the idea, “It’s not my fault” and park this idea as only part advice stored in long term memory. It must become a belief which is part of person’s sense of ‘self’. The ventral medial prefrontal cortex is active when this happens. In other words, if an abused woman truly comes the personal conclusion (as a personal belief) that that “It’s not my fault” their journey to a health mental and social state is virtually impossible. If an abused woman cannot achieve this than it will not help her. This idea was said best by Robert Oxton Bolton.

“A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind”

Henry Ward Beecher once said,

“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”

 Abused women, who have escaped, should understand that they are starting at a new point in their life and they will be judge later and throughout out their life by others, only based on their peak of excellence in overcoming the dysfunctional belief systems their minds created from their own abuse. It is the distance that an abused woman travels in her mental stability, social navigation and peace of mind that will be their peak of excellence. Abused women will not be judged by their passed abuse by friends, family or either society and strangers; they will be judged by their peak of excellence in starting from a place where their minds were in a very dark place, to the state (of excellence) they can achieve. The key point is for abused women to reflect on how

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